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| Kara and Santa |
My husband Mike and I had been transferred to San Diego that spring. On the day that we arrived in San Diego, after a long three-day drive, we received word that my dad had died early that morning. While I knew he was sick, his death was not expected. We immediately flew back to Iowa for the funeral services but had to quickly return to San Diego so that Mike could report for duty.
When Christmas drew close, I felt the loss of my dad even more acutely and knew that we would not be able to get back to Iowa to be with our families for the holidays. Mike's and my family's tradition was to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve and I wanted to be sure that we continued in the same tradition so it would "seem like Christmas." It just seemed so important to try to make it the same as it always had been. Never mind that I had to work the 3 to 11 p.m. shift on Christmas Eve!
I got home at midnight and changed from my uniform into a Christmas dress. Mike put on the Santa suit we had bought at Kmart - it was red plastic with white plastic trim. We woke up our 2-year-old daughter Kara - to literally terrify her with "Santa" and open presents. It wasn't really too much like the Christmases of our childhoods. That night I quietly cried into my pillow and felt certain that Christmas would never be the same.
In the many years since then, I've learned that I was partially right. How, and even when, we celebrate Christmas does not always stay the same. When we try so hard to make sure that we create the "perfect" Christmas, we often lose sight of what we are celebrating, just as I did that Christmas of 1971. We may not always be able to be with family or close friends. Life happens to us and often changes how we are able to celebrate. However, the comfort and the joy of Christmas is that it is not reserved for December 24 or 25. It isn't about the presents we give each other or the visit from Santa, or even about who we are with. The incredible gift of Christmas that is ours, and is ours every day of the year, is that God loves us and, through God's grace, we are forgiven.
Kaaren Nelson is wife of Mike, mother, grandmother, retired nurse.
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